WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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