And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
