ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
