I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
