I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
