you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
