I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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