I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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