some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
