I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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