dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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