My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
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But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
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You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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