So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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