I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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