On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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