Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
