i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize