I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
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Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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