my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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