But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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