He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
