Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
