Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
