i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize