She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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