Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
