this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
