Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
