Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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