Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
