i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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