I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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