I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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