Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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