I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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