It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
