I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
