I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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