Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
