Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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