this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Your topless pictures make me question reality
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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