You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
