hotel room ftw
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
