I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
