I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
