uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
