He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
