so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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