Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
