guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize