I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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