Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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