I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
ok first of all what the fuck
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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