ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
