i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
