do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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