she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
