yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
