yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
