you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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