I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
