also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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