Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
